Time Capsule

This has been sitting in my Drafts since 2013! 2013!
Five whole years. And I still feel the same today, unable to sleep at 1.35 am consumed by dread of who I am, what I do and what my future holds. And guess what? I just ran out of things to read on Twitter. And so I am here! To check out my Blogspot.com!!! Enjoy my self-loathing.. Which I still feel today at 1.41 am IST.
My Feb-7-2018 comments in Orange.
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I feel so incredibly restless. I am itching to do something Anything. But I don't know what it is. I want to buy things, watch things, things I don't need just to do something. I keep checking buzzfeed, Jezebel, Pajiba(timeless. Still do all this) and a thousand other sites just to consume something. And you know that it is really not working out, when even my feeds and feed aggregation websites run out of stuff for me. I am now super in crochet(Crochet??? Really?? I truly was delusional), and I want to buy needles and yarn, and pattern books so as to have something new in my life, and to discover something new in my life. But I need to learn how to commit to things i have already started.
I bought a touch responsive piano, borrowed piano lesson books and I still haven't started playing it.
I borrowed a picture book on fashion, Eleanor Roosevelt's biography, and a personal finance book. Things I thought I must must have.
And now that I see that my laptop keyboard is typing so poorly, and so I must must must have a new laptop since I have typed about 10 lines(see above) and am surely on the way to become a world famous author.
I have grandiose dreams about my future, and do nothing to move towards them. I keep dreaming that I will be a famous author one day, beloved by millions and yet do not even write a single word a day.
And I feel that this restlessness can only  be cured once i get a Sony alpha ILC, a great fall coat, cookie cutters, a victorinox knife, and so on. (I did buy all of them in the next couple of months. Still loathe myself!)
So before i go on to buy crochet stuff, i am going to commit to these. and i have to promise to spend at least an hour on them daily.(Ha Ha! Did not do ANY of the below.)
1) Having a conversation with God
2) Writing something, anything, even a book/movie review. That is how low my creativity levels are.
3) Playing the touch responsive keyboard.


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